Entry 22: Hockey Blog

Hey all, Phil here, to distinguish from me and the others, I've decided to write in a different font...Anyway...

Okay, So I’m actually writing this blog from Boston.  I’m planning on keeping this entry relatively short, it’s that the NHL entry draft is tomorrow, and I’d like to write a blog on it before it happens.  So it won’t detract from my vacation.  Furthermore, writing is a good way for me to keep my mind off things and stuff.  Anyway, tomorrow is the annual NHL Entry Draft, this year located in Minnesota, and in the midst of the encroaching draft, many things have transpired in the world of hockey.  The NHL Awards in Las Vegas occurred as well, and a few surprises popped up, so in other words.  This blog is about hockey.  I have a few other things I’d like to write about for this entry, but I’ll save them for another entry.

Let’s discuss the NHL Awards, shall we?  First and foremost, the most deserving goaltender was awarded the Vezina Trophy for goaltender of the year, Tim Thomas.  Stanley Cup Winning, Conn Smythe receiving Tim Thomas.  Posting the best Goals Against Average in a season since Dominik Hasek in 1998.  Timmy Thomas.  No surprise there.  Thomas was the best goalie in the world this year.  Nick Lidstrom, Mr. Perfect won his 7th.  Count them, 7th Norris Trophy. (Best defenseman of the season).  Tying Doug Harvey, and sitting one behind Bobby Orr.  I’m sure you readers are wondering if he could perhaps top that mystical number, but the fact is, he probably won’t.  The man is 41.…And sure he won one as a 41 year old, the fact is, he’s starting to wear down.  He’s been playing less minutes, and he finished his first season in history as a minus player.  In fact, most hockey fans speculate this Norris was won on reputation(I disagree).  This actually raises another question all together here, where does Lidstrom rank on the all time “Greatest Defensemen” list.  Bobby Orr is firmly locked in at number 1, the man revolutionized the position, and in addition to his 8 Norris Trophies, he won an Art Ross Trophy(Leading the league in points, incredible considering he was a defenseman), and 3 consecutive Hart Trophies(Trophy awarded for the player who’s essentially most valuable to his team in the league, perhaps the most prestigious individual trophy one can win.)  Orr is untouchable at the moment, in the same way Gretzky is.  However, who’s number 2?  You could make a case for the late great Doug Harvey, who also revolutionized the game while playing for the Canadiens throughout the 40’s introducing the notion that a defenseman could contribute to the score sheet.  The previously mentioned Nick Lidstrom.  Eddie Shore, the grittiest defensemen of the 1930’s who hit like a freight train. And Ray Bourque.  The beloved.  Ray Bourque, who was the cornerstone of the Bruins franchise for 20 years.  (Incidentally, 3 of the 4 defensemen are Bruins.)  These are the four defensemen that essentially fill out the 2-5 positions on the top 5 defensemen list of all time, interchangeably.(HM to Dennis Potvin.)  Moving on from that discussion…..Dan Bylsma, the Penguins coach, brought home the Jack Adams coach for best coach, little dispute there.  Daniel Sedin brought home the Art Ross, naturally.  Corey Perry brought home the Rocket Richard trophy for most goals in a season.  Roberto Luongo and Corey Schneider shared honors of winning the William M. Jennings trophy for allowing the fewest goals in a season.  Ryan Kesler won the Selke trophy for best defensive forward(mainly for the fact that Datsyuk missed a string of games with a wrist injury.)  Marty St. Louis brought home the Lady Byng trophy for most gentlemanly player.  Jeff Skinner brought home the Calder Trophy for rookie of the year.  Ian Laperriere won the Bill Masterton trophy for Perseverance and Dedication to hockey.  The winner of the Ted Lindsay award, awarded to the MVP of the season as determined by the players of the league, went to Daniel Sedin.  Mike Gillis won GM of the year, and the Mark Messier leadership award went to Zdeno Chara.  The King Clancy trophy, awarded to players deemed to have donated a significant Humanitarian contribution went to Doug Weight, who received a standing ovation.  And perhaps the most interesting awarding of all.  The Hart Trophy went to Corey Perry.  Everyone suspected that Daniel Sedin would run away with it, but in a surprising twist of events, Corey pulled away his first Hart, most likely for his effort of carrying the team on his back after Ryan Getzlaf went down mid way through the season.

Next matter of business.  This afternoon, the Philadelphia Flyers essentially blew up their roster by sending the 5th highest goal scorer of the NHL since 2009 to the Columbus Blue Jackets, 2003 11th overall pick Jeff Carter to the Columbus Blue Jackets for 2007 7th overall pick, Jakub Voracek, the 2011 8th overall selection, and a 3rd round pick, as well as sending 2003 24th overall pick Captain Mike Richards to Los Angeles for 2009 5th overall Brayden Schenn and 2007 61st overall pick, Wayne Simmonds.  Long story short.  The Flyers just sent their top two center across the country.  Also, the Flyers signed goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov for a 9 year deal at 51 million dollars.  That amounts to about to 5.66 million per year.  That’s pretty high for a goaltender that genuinely has not proven a thing in the post season.  The Flyers have a youthful forward corps, an aging defensive corps, and a ridiculously termed goaltender.  None of this quite makes sense, however, because Philadelphia has 50 signed players, it’s speculated that they aren’t done, since 50 is the absolute max.  So we’ll see where the Flyers wind up.  I think it’s safe to say however, that Richards was traded as a result of the Pronger-Richards dispute, and it’s likely, Pronger will be the Flyers captain for next season.  Columbus gets their first real first line center in franchise history, who’ll most likely center career Blue Jacket, Rich Nash, and possibly Kristian Huselius, while the Kings get a second line center to take some of the load off of Anze Kopitar’s back.  Los Angeles is shaping up to be a top 3 team in the west next season based off this trade.  

Which leads me to my next and final topic, The NHL Draft is tomorrow evening at 7 pm.  I’m going to run a top 10 simulation, of the draft.  I could be completely wrong, but being an armchair GM, I’m going to try anyway.  Here’s my Mock Draft…

Hopkins

1. Edmonton - C Red Deer Rebels WHL Ryan Nugent-Hopkins

Best player available, center for Taylor Hall and Jordan Eberle, TSN interviewed 10 scounts, 9 of which said RNH is the best player available.

2. Colorado LW Gabriel Landeskog OHL Kitchener Rangers

Rather than taking the second best player available player, the Aves stick to precedent of the last couple of seasons by drafting a player further down, in this case, the most NHL ready player, and Swedish Mike Richards, Landeskog.  Replaces Stewart and looks good on Duchene’s wing.

3.  Florida C Jonathan Huberdeau QMJHL Saint John Sea Dogs

A late bloomer, Florida needs some offense, and Huberdeau looks like a promising 2 way player.  They also pass on Larsson because of last year’s 3rd overall pick of Gudbranson.

4.  New Jersey D Adam Larsson SEL Skelleftea HC

Unusual drafting position for the Devils, the Devils select the best defenseman available, a real fantastic prospect, Adam Larsson.

5.  New York Islanders C Sean Couturier QMJHL Drummondville Voltigeurs

Islanders draft a real power forward to compliment Tavares.  A real steal, if it wasn’t for a bout of Mono, he would probably be drafted top 2.

6.  Ottawa -  C Ryan Strome OHL Niagra Icedogs

Will require a lot of conditioning, but the Sens are bare on forwards in terms of prospects, has PPG potential.

7.  Winnipeg D Dougie Hamilton OHL Niagra Icedogs

A strong pick for the new Winnipeg franchise, Hamilton is considered a 2 way defenseman, and could be a foundation with Enstrom and Bogosian for years.

8. Philadelphia(From Columbus) D Ryan Murphy OHL Kitchener Rangers

A pure offensive catalyst, and Don Cherry’s favorite player it seems like.  Real threat from the blue line, and would help bolster a weakened Flyers defensive cupboard, and aging NHL blue line.

9.  Boston (From Toronto) D Duncan Siemens WHL Saskatoon Blades

Fresh from a Stanley Cup parade, the Bruins select a player to bolster their bare defensive cupboard to compliment Tyler Seguin from last year.

10. Minnesota C Mika Zibanejad SEL Djurgarden

A strong two way center to compliment a two way system that Minnesota encourages, will compliment Koivu and Granlund well, has Backstrom-lite upside.

I'm no prospect expert, but that's my take.  If I'm wrong about anything, I bet it's Colorado taking Larsson after all...

Anyway.  Phil Signing off.

Hope everyone remembered not to duplicate their Bending units...(Tonight's Futurama Reference.)

Fax About Me #II: Top 25 Music Videos imo.

This entry is being written for two reason: I am a person who loves making lists and I think I have been unofficially named the music writer for this blogging corporation of "Gerrymandering and Bolo Ties." Also, I am making this list because these music artists have found a way to combine the art of music with a visual art as well! It is apparent to me that you will probably have some discrepancies amongst the music videos that I have posted. I would love to hear what you think should be on the list, so feel free to leave a comment. Now, what are we waiting for? Lets get started!

25. Ms. Jackson - Outkast

Move over Keyboard Cat! An adorable puppy is playing piano in this video. It is pretty obvious that the puppy isn't actually playing the right notes as he runs across the keys, but it is still pretty cool. Normally, I hate things that involve talking animals. I made an exception for this song because they have so few lines. They also all contagiously bob their heads up and down with the song. This makes you do the same while thinking "Eff yeah, that pup knows whats up!" Even though the animals seem to get me off track, there are other features about this video that makes me love it. You see, Andre and Big Boi seem to be indebted to this older woman because they are doing all her chores. No matter what they do, it ends up in failure. For example, the car gets struck by lightning after it had just been washed. In this song, Big Boi raps to his future mother-in-law (the lady he is indebted to). The point of this video and song is to say, that even though he is a failure at everything else, he will still marry her daughter (his baby mama). If you do not even listen to the lyrics, you can tell because of "Here Comes the Bride" being played on the piano.

24. From Above - Ben Folds/Nick Hornby

If there is one word to describe this video, its "serendipitous." It is full of cool drawing effects and Ben Folds is hidden throughout it. It is just crazy to think that you could be that close to your soul mate and not meet until you are in heaven.



23. Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins

Known for directing "Little Miss Sunshine," Dayton and Faris made a very unusual video. At the time, it was hard for them to find costumes for it because the Titanic had taken all of the time period cloths in LA. It is obvious that other videos, such as "Into the Ocean" by Blue October, were heavily influenced by this one.

22. The Gorillaz (In General)

How many bands actually identify themselves as cartoons? There are not many more than the Gorillaz. The artwork is extremely well done and videos for songs such as "Feel Good Inc." have a lot of dimensional properties to it.

21. Rough Landing, Holly - Yellowcard

This video is full of neat effects. Ryan Key is always running from one man that looks like he wants to kill him. All he has to do is turn and he is in a different place. He goes out a window and comes out a man hole. He is swimming in the ocean and comes out a sink. Personally, I have always wanted to be part of a kissing train.



20. Nine Inch Nails (In General)

Nine Inch Nails are a band that pushes the limits of videos. They often make you go "WTF?" The video for "Closer" is known as one of the best videos of all time, however it is really weird. They also have one of the most horrifying videos of all time. The videos of theirs that I like are the ones that have been done more recently. For example, "Survivalism" is a video that gives you a big brother feel as you look at people through surveillance cameras. My favorite NIN video is the one for "Only." The reason I love this video is because it uses 3D Pin Art for Trent Reznor's face...it is pretty cool.

19. Buddy Holly - Weezer

Wait, wait, wait! Happy Days ended in 1983. This video was made in 1994...How did they do that?!??! Anyway I'm impressed. I remember watching this music video over and over on my computer when I was 8. All I ever remembered was the Fonz doing a split and "Not today Al!"



18. Sabotage - Beastie Boys

Who wouldn't love running around acting like asshole cops from the 1970's! This Starsky and Hutch-esqe video looks like it was incredibly fun to make. Beastie Boys are actually known for making a lot of funny videos. These videos include ones where they diss Sasquatch and others where there are fighting robots. However, I feel like Sabotage is the one that is by far the best.

17. Walkie Talkie Man - Steriogram

Though this band is only somewhat known for this song, it doesn't mean the video is not awesome. Everything is made out of yarn. EVERYTHING! and when the lead singer is ripped apart by a huge yarn man, he gets sewn back together...backwards! It's neat.



16. 30 Seconds to Mars (In General)

MAN TITS! Did I get your attention? well good, because in 30 Seconds to Mars' 13 minute film for "Hurricane" there are man boobs and much more. Most of their videos, especially lately, have been to make a point to end war or help the environment. After movies such as "Fight Club" (sorry for breaking rules), Jered Leto has tried to combine his theatrical nature with his on going music career. Each video is somewhere between six and fourteen minutes long and is directed as if it should be up for an Academy Award. I feel like each one is a part to a puzzle, but not one that I have figured out yet. This leaves me very intrigued.

15. Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden

Have you ever tried acid? I haven't...but this video makes it feel as I have. The whole time you watch it, you just say "what the hell is going on?" But it is one of the most unique videos and there really has never been a video that is like it.



14. Learn to Fly - Foo Fighters

A little help from Tenacious D was all this video needed to become one of the best of all time. The fact that the Foo Fighters love playing every other character in their videos also helped. I personally like this video for just how silly it is. Watching Dave Grohl play a girl in anything is worth it!



13. Smack My Bitch Up - Prodigy

This video was not let on tv. It is known as one of the most offensive videos of all time. However, the reason it is on this list is not for the sake of controversy. The reason is the way one thinks when watching it. This video makes you go into the point of view of an out of control partier. I have watched this video a couple times with other people and their comments are always "this guy..." and "he is crazy," things of that nature. You cannot watch this on Youtube because they censor the entire point of the video. After having wild crazy sex, the main character looks in the mirror, and sees a drugged out woman. The whole time, you thought you were a man! Mind. Blown!

12. Freak on a Leash - Korn

Though I will have a lot of friends that yell at me for having Korn on any list, this video is worth it. Directed by the same people who did "Tonight, Tonight," they were able to make a horrifying cartoon come to life. Also, you follow a bullet...it is just really neat, to say the least.



11. Typical - Mute Math

Yes, I know. There are a lot of videos that have done the backward thing. But this one is unique for a couple reasons. The first one is because of the natural stage presence of the band. There is just so much keytar breaking and keyboard flipping that its just impossible not to love it. Secondly, they try to do the things that would look the coolest backward. These things include shooting silly string and having paint thrown on the lead singer. I always just thought it was an extremely interesting video.

10. Ok Go (In General)

I do not think there is much I can say about Ok Go, that has not already been said. This band became famous because of their videos. Their popularity started with a choreographed dance on treadmills in the video for "Here it Goes Again." The video went viral and everyone wanted to watch it over and over again. Personally, I knew the dance without the treadmill at the time. More recently, they did music videos for songs "White Knuckles," where they had the help of some well trained dogs, and "This Too Shall Pass," which was all a big Rube Goldberg Machine (The Bravery did something similar). I think what makes this band so fantastic, is the fact that they do these things in one fluid take. That has to be time consuming!

9. Weapon of Choice - Fat Boy Slim

THE ICE, IS GONNA BREAK...because of how awesome this video is. In this video, Christopher is not only Walken but he is dancing! Did you know he could dance? He is actually a professional dancer, and he gets to showcase it. He is in a lobby all by himself and no one witnesses the astonishing stunts that he pulls. All of a sudden, he is flying! like really? FLYING? Yes. Flying. Though Fat Boy Slim has other videos that are also fun, this one will cure any fever...without a cowbell! Alright, I'll stop the puns now.



8. Vampire Weekend (In General)

Vampire Weekend is a band that tries to do anything they can to be unique. On top of that, their videos all seem very fun to make. With a couple of camera effects they are able to change with the seasons or screw around in an alley. For the sake of having fun, they also have cruised around in 70's garb...1670's that is! I am not the only one to notice their music video making ability. Other musicians and actors, such as Jake Gyllenhaal have made guest appearances!



7. Grapevine Fires - Death Cab for Cutie

I don't know if there is another music video that makes me feel as emotional as this one does. With some kind of paper art, Death Cab was able to bring the lyrics to the song to life. It reminds you to cherish the ones you have while they are around because we can burn away faster than paper.



6. The Scientist - Coldplay

"Hello, Chris Martin" we all say as we start with a close up on his baby blue eyes. Then we realize that the video is going all backward. "A backward video is cool and all, but it doesn't impress me that much," you say. Well if you would stop complaining and keep watching, you would notice that he is in deep contemplation the whole time. What could he be thinking about? Well, he then gets out of town and goes into the woods...in reverse. Eventually he gets into a car randomly in the grass and hits his head on the steering wheel and gets knocked out. Meanwhile, a girl bounces off the ground and comes back through the windshield. It is found out that she takes off her seat belt to get a jacket right before he gets into an accident. He was probably in shock when he left the vehicle, so i guess that explains why he didn't go check on his possibly dead girlfriend. However, even though this is a wonderful video it does the raise the question: How did she not get thrown out of the car sooner? Still, one of my favorites!

5. Love Lost -Temper Trap

To be honest, I wanted to do this list just to put this video in my top five. It finds a way to be both artistically done, while also being kind of comical. The video involves what I can assume is some kinda of ten year old youth soccer team that is forced to do laps. What makes it amazing is the fact that while running, the main kid is singing and all of them do some kind of exercise dance that is wonderful. On top of this, they eventually start doing flips and they jump in the mud during every cymbal crash. When there are no puddles to jump in, there are fireworks that shoot up out of the ground. Meanwhile, they get passed by a group of girls in much better shape then them. Finally, the song ends the best way possible...with a chubby kid throwing up. This video is just so unexpected, that is why it is great!



4. Californication - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

As a kid, I thought this was the coolest video ever. I always wished I could play a video game where you could swim with sharks and escape bear attacks, and RHCP's fake game delivers. I feel like I could play all day as Chad and snowboard down the Golden Gate bridge. This game...I mean video, was something that was very different. I would not be surprised if it actually influenced a game or two.



3. Jeremy - Pearl Jam

As we get into these last three videos, we enter into videos that are way before their time. Pearl Jam is a band known for their compelling songs about topics such as homelessness and domestic abuse. "Jeremy" was practically a warning about teenage anxiety in the 90's. I say it was a warning because seven years later the shooting at Columbine unfortunately struck the nation. This song and video basically tells others to pay attention. Jeremy was neglected by his parents and laughed at by his peers. No one knows how much actions and neglect can affect a person. It is a video that hits home because we all have those people in our life.



2. Take On Me -Ah-Ha

Before there was the cartoon/real life transition in "Freak on a Leash" there was "Take On Me," which will always go down as one of the best videos of all time. This is a video that just about everyone has seen. The main character falls in love with the hansom drawing version of the lead singer. As they are forced out of his world, she is forced to reluctantly go back to hers. She tries to save him and he becomes human, even though he almost dies doing so. Aw how cute! But this video seems as if its straight out of a Molly Ringwald romance.

1. Thriller - Michael Jackson

I remember being seven, fifteen years after this came out, and changing the channel when MTV would play the video. It was still horrifying late into the 1990's. If it wasn't for a change in the Horror genre, this music video would still be scary to me. It is as if they decided to take "The Night of the Living Dead" and actually make it more effective. What else can I say about this video? It was way before its time, the make up and directing is wonderful, and the dancing is legendary. By far, the best music video ever made in my opinion.

Entry 21: New Writers and Discussing the new Winnipeg hockey team.

Hey FOLKS, the primary purpose of today's blog is to discuss the fact that Gerrymandering and Bolo Ties now has four writers...(three new ones).  The purpose of adding these new writers is to add diversity(even though they're all white), different view points(Even though we grew up in the same county), and further the creativity that this blog so heavily stresses.  With the increase of writers, there should be a genuine increase in readers as well and stuff.  So I hope you enjoy the increase in entries, and the diversity in the writing and topics.

So, discussing something else completely different.  In NHL news, for those of you who do not know, the Atlanta Thrashers owned by the Atlanta Spirit Group(Owner of Philips Arena in Atlanta and the NBA's Atlanta Hawks) have been sold to True North Sports and Entertainment Limited.  What does that mean?  The Thrashers are moving to Winnipeg.  Now.  I know what most of you are thinking.  "Where the fuck is Winnipeg?"(Most people casually swear when they think in contrast to when they speak).  Winnipeg is the largest city in the Canadian Province of Manitoba in central Canada.  Coincidentally, it'll be the second smallest city to feature a professional sports team in North America.(The smallest being Salt Lake City).  Winnipeg hasn't had a professional hockey team since the Jets left town in 1996 to move to Phoenix.  (Typical fairweather team...The team probably had a uniform asthma attack and was looking for a drier comment.)  I looked to interview long tenured winnipeg jet/phoenix coyote Shane Doan for a comment, but I couldn't find him.  Anyway, with the sale finalized, all that remains is a vote by the NHL board of governors to solidify the team's placing in the league.  Should the owners come to a super majority, which they should, Winnipeg will have a place in the league next year.

Now there have been many questions raised by all of this, such as, what will they be called?  There's been a misconception that the Coyotes organization owns the trademark "Jets", because the original team relocated to Phoenix.  However, because the Coyotes are in fact owned by the NHL, commissioner Gary Bettman, and the owners of TNSE have made it clear that if they decide to name the team the Jets, there will be no difficulty in doing so.  Another discussed root is, will they name the NHL franchise after the AHL Manitoba Moose?  Most fans are in unanimous agreement that that would be terrible.   Then there's a disagreement over whether the team should be called Winnipeg or Manitoba?  In my opinion, the team should be called the Jets.  Why?  Well, when it was announced the sale was finalized, footage of fans flooded the internet showing fans draped in Jets colors chanting, "Let's Go Jets!"  For you see, despite losing the team because of lack of Corporate sponsoring, the fans of Winnipeg never gave up hope on their beloved franchise returning.  So here's to TNSE naming their newly purchased team, the Jets.

Picture Winnipeg above Minnesota.

The next matter of controversy is regarding divisional realignments.  There's been talk of putting them in the North Western division in the west, the central division, and even keeping them in the south east division for a season(where the thrashers played.)  If scheduling is indeed finalized, then obviously they'll HAVE to play in the south east for a season, but if it isn't?  What makes the most sense is putting them in the North West, moving Minnesota to the central division, and taking Nashville or Columbus and moving them to the Southeast, successfully moving everything around fairly equally.  But that's open for discussion.

Commissioner Bettman

I'm truly excited for the fans of Manitoba, for Gary Bettman made it clear that if the team is to succeed, they'll need to sell at least 13000 tickets(it's a 15000 capacity arena, when most in the NHL are around 18000), they successfully met the drive within a week despite above average ticket prices to meet the expenses of a smaller arena.  Hockey fever truly exists in Manitoba.

Either way, I'd like to congratulate the fans of Winnipeg, and I'd like to give my condolences to the fans of Atlanta. (Who lost their team due to corporate mismanagement, not because of their fans).


Anyway, that's all for today.  Phil Away!

Nyanyannyan.

 

 

Fax About Me #I : I like Incubus?

Writing in a blog is something new for me. Should I write as if I am a concerned reporter that is wondering what is wrong with this world? How can we fix it? Why Am I asking so many questions? Do people only read this because they Google "Spongebob Squarepants Sex"? If so, that brings me back to my original question: What is wrong with this world?

What I am really used to writing, besides term papers filled with bull, is poetry. It seems impossible for me to not put my feelings into metaphor. Many times rhyming words seem to come out of me like some kind of ectoplasm, leaving a part of me on paper. As you can see, it is a real problem.

But ladies and gentlemen, what I am really here to talk about is the band Incubus. Many of those who know me know my obsession with this band already. However, in the last week, they have engulfed my life. I am actually listening to them now as we speak. If you have not listened to said band, I suggest you do so. They have an ability to relate to any relationship or loss of relationship that you and I could possibly have.

To those whom I have had a "falling out" with, they have a song for them that says exactly what I am thinking. Actually they have about ten. I would show a few lyrics, but I feel like the rest of this blog will be full of lyrics pertaining to other situations. So for your sake and mine, I'll leave this paragraph lyric free.

I also was in an 18 month relationship that had just ended two weeks ago. Though I feel emotional at times, I can listen to Incubus and know that someone has felt the same way as I do, and can put it perfectly into words. The CD that really applies to me at the moment is "Light Grenades." To me, it is seen as the 'break up' album. It has lines that anyone out of a relationship can relate to. E.g. "You and I are like Oil and Water, and we've been trying to mix it up" or "Love hurts but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive. Love sings, when it transcends the bad things, have a heart and try me 'cause without love I won't survive." In a very poetic way, this says: though falling out of love can feel like you are emotionally dying, it is what we need to carry on. Though love in one place has died, love will live on. We just have to find it.

For those in a relationship, Incubus has about ten songs for you too! "Echo" is my favorite song of theirs because it is the theme song for those hopeless romantics that dream of falling in love at first sight. In songs such as "I Miss You," Brandon compares the lucky lady in his life to "a three-fold Utopian dream." If that is not the most poetic romantic line, then I don't know what is!

I have found that I have grown up with Incubus, almost maturing with them (even though they are probably 15 years older than me). Each album has its own feeling and sound, while still being able to sound like Incubus. They are not like bands, such as Kings of Leon and Muse, who completely changed their sound, because they most likely could not perfect their own. This new CD "If not now, when?" has songs such as "Promises, Promises." This song is most likely about Brandon sleeping with girls that he has no feelings for, believe it or not. To be specific, it says that he is taking the "road of least resistance." This leads me to ask, is this my future? We will have to just wait and see I guess!

My final thought about Incubus is how they affect me. When talking to my one friend, I was trying to explain, though it sounds cheesy, this band touches my soul. The way I see it, there is music for music sake, music to make a point, and music for a spiritual purpose. Churches with gospel choirs are able to do the same thing to people that this band is able to do to me. This band is why I can see people needing religion in their life. All I have to do is listen and I have hope, and I am proud of myself, and I know not to dwell on things that will only hurt me.

It is also why I can see people using drugs. I know that a lot of people listen to Incubus while high, but I'm not one to do such things. Personally, I do not think the drugs are necessary to feel their music. This fact makes me think though. Simply, I was able to compare both religion and drug usage to music. These are two things that many people would argue are completely different things. Though I do see similarities, I would not look at the drugs or the religion as being the major factors in this equation. Music is. It is the one thing that crosses boundaries. I may not be able to speak the same language as you, but we could react the same to certain music. I just say this, because I think it is really beautiful.

-Caleb

Entry 20: The Modern Day Zombie

Okay, to make up for Gerrymandering and Bolo Ties' last debacle, I've decided to forward all of my readers three thousand big ones.  But since I have tens of thousands of readers, the fraction that people will actually receive is actually very small.  Because that three thousand dollars is communal.  Also, just kidding.  Please don't stop reading.  Your angry faces as you read my humble blog keeps my heart beating, and keeps the bacon on the table(Also, the stapler does that too, but that's a different thing entirely.) and pays for my staples.  Because of the recent success of my blog, yano, successfully going international and outernational, I've received more and more sponsors by the barrel fulls.( I actually highly considered listing an obscure, small business as a sponsor, but I scurred myself by the off chance they might discover I illegally gave them a shout out.)  Anyway, keep on reading, and I'll present my undying love to you with a hammock and a sloppy joe, and we'll talk about our futures together, just so as long as you keep reading crater hole that is my blog.  Today's matter of discussion falls on Zombie.


My first and only question.  Can Zombies be productive members of society?

 

The Zombies

 All puns aside, the rhetoric I press to you readers to concern yourselves over pertains to whether or not zombies can be productive elements to today's complex, and politically correct society.(Hello College Thesis)


For starters, let's approach this topic from a purely politically correct stand point.  Girls hate when men objectify them, and men hate it when girls don't let guys objectify them.  And if a person comes on too strongly to a fellow employee, the litigation quickly follows.  The problem with zombies is they simply leave no personal space.  They're simply always trying to eat people's brains.  You might say it's because they're mindless.  But the difference between them and the viewers of According to Jim is that the viewers of According to Jim are not discriminated against, whereas Zombies are in fact discriminated against.

There's been a rising movement among collegiate students, the "Romero Movement"(I'll treat a person to a Popsicle if they get the reference without looking it up, and since I can't trust anyone to not look it up, I immediately recede my offer.) as it's called, to not only bring Zombies to the work force, but to academia as well.  There have been increasing cases of people trying to wed the zombie they love, but because they're undead and therefore, not tax paying citizens, the controversy rages on.  The politicians on Capital Hill, especially of the Tea Party movement find them to be a threat to the American way.  So I ask you, the readers, if you think Zombies should enter the work force and or academia and or should be allowed to marry non zombies.

The next matter of business in discussing the productive Zombie's role in society is whether or not they should receive social security benefits.  This has been a pressing issue as well, for many zombies have a plethora of health issues such a dysentery, and live to be much older than sixty two.  A lot of democrats were fighting for Zombie medicare and medicaid, when the Republicans were opposing it.  This is certainly a hot button issue, that won't be resolved quickly.

Next, the Zombies are starting to sit in front of buses in the south.  A lot of southeners are getting increasingly more antsy with the presumptuous Zombies.  As everyone knows, the South has decided to discriminate against Zombie men and women by installing different bathrooms, schools, water fountains, and segregating public transportation.  This should not stand, but we all know how fickle zombie haters are.

Finally, and most importantly, How do we deal with the rising civil war between Cyborgs and Zombies?  Do we bunker down and say our prayers, or do we pick a side, like the grand U S of A did in the first World War?

Can a Zombie really thrive in today's America?  And when will the hate crimes come to an end?  And should they come to and end?  Clearly grey issues.

I'll let you readers mull these issues over, until next time.


Au Revoir!

Entry 19: Who would even live in a Pine Apple under the Sea?

Okay, so this blog is dedicated to a few things this evening.

Mainly This:

I'll probably be straining to write anything of genuine substance, and this'll probably be my worst blog yet, but that's whatever.  I'm not trying to impress my 6 readers.(Please don't leave....I do it for you, I promise.)

So, I basically really wanted to write about my favorite porous, business casual sponge in the deep blue sea, without sounding too verbose....So I'm just going to write in really small sentences that viewers of all ages can truly enjoy, while avoiding the risk of writing any kind of run on sentences and stuff, etc.  So, to start, I think we all have our favorite character from the Steve Hillenburg(I didn't even look that up, what's up?)  Nickelodeon show, and I'm sure most of you would say Larry.

Larry

Obviously because he's not just some fool who ripped his pants.

As seen here.

And I know a lot of you will say some of the cliche' favorites, such as the Screaming Chocolate Guy(aka MY LEG guy)...

Or Deaugh guy...

Or even Pinhead Larry(No relation to Larry the Lobster):

But I'm here to tell you my faithful reader(s) that I'm going against the grain.  For once in my life I'm making a stand on a topic that matters.  I won't pick any of these cliche' Spongebob characters, oh no sir, I'm going to pick an obscure character, that I'm sure most of you forgot about.  My favorite character just so happens to be really good at playing the cashier.  Squidward Tentacles.

Not to be confused with his more well known, and more popular doppleganger, Squilliam Fancyson.

What can't Squidward do?  He keeps Spongebob and Patrick and check, he keeps the Krusty Krab franchise a float, and he's really good at playing the cashier and doing art stuff and also the clarinet kind of.  So.  Next time you pick a favorite Sponge Bob character, I entice you to consider Squidward...

Anyway, Spongebob Squarepants first aired on Nickelodeon over 11 years, and has made a lasting impact on an entire generation.  There's a few things that'll sell these days, and those things include the following:  Sex, Drugs, and Spongebob(If you fuse the three.....Jeebus).  So I decided to follow the trend by writing about one of those three things.(Shit, I haven't been swearing enough these days to entice my dirtier readers.)

 I'm sure everyone has their favorite episode of spongebob too, mine just happens to be the one about the slash bringing hasher....the sash ringing....the trash singing....the mash flinging...the flash springing...ringing...the crash dinging.....The Hash Slinging Slasher.  Aka, Graveyard Shift.  I think we can ALL agree that's a classic. One of Squidward's best, clearly.

Anyway, this blog really doesn't have much of a point.  It's just a blog about jelly fishing and stuff, man.  But, that's basically all.  Sorry for wasting all of you folks' time.  The next one will be better, I promise.


Until next time.  Seeya True Believers.

Entry 18: In Brightest Day, In Darkest Night, Mortal Kombat 9 will Test Your Might

Aloha citizens of Blogtopia, what brings you to the humble abode that is my blog?  You wish to read entertaining entries with casual swearing, you say?  Well then, you've come to the right place, because if there's one thing this blog is notorious for, it's casual swearing.  Hell Damn Fart!  Anyway, sorry for the long delay between entries, I've been caught up with collegiate finals and camaraderie of summer that I haven't had time to write jibberish on this here blog.  Now I know you've all waited with bated breath for my next entry after I wrote sheer poetry when discussing the importance of cyborgs in popular culture, but today I come to you to discuss the Green Lantern movie and the newest Mortal Kombat!  So, I hope you've got your mouse ready to skim through this filler entry, because it promises to be one of my better filler entries.

In brightest day,

In darkest night, 

No evil shall escape myself sight, 

Let those who worship evil's might,

Beware my power, 

Green Lantern's Light!

Alan Scott

A little backstory regarding the Green Lantern Corps before I write about the upcoming Warner Brothers Film, the Green Lantern mythos began in July of 1940, when a young railroad engineer by the name of Alan Scott who found a magical green lamp which was prophesied to bring him great power.  He subsequently isn't a real Green Lantern, that is, he isn't part of the Green Lantern Corps officially, but in modern times, he is considered an honorary Green Lantern.  19 years later, when the Golden Age of Superhero characters were fading into obscurity(Except the trinity of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman), many of the Golden Age characters were reinvented such as the Flash, Hawkeye, etc.  Along with all these reinvented characters included the Green Lantern mythos.  Hal Jordan was a test pilot who had a fateful encounter with the greatest Green Lantern perhaps second only to Sinestro, Abin Sur who was dying.(Whenever a Green Lantern dies, their ring searches for a living thing that possesses great willpower and courage.)  Hal Jordan takes the ring and joins the ranks of the intergalatic police force, the Green Lantern Corps.

The Green Lantern and his supporting cast has been a staple for DC Comics for 40 years, with 5 Earth Based Lanterns, and many crazy aliens, such as the comic community beloved, Kilowag.(ya Poozer), and has experienced resurfaced popularity since Geoff Johns took over the title in 2004 with the reboot, Green Lantern: Rebirth through Brightest Day.  Which leads us to the up and coming Summer Blockbuster.

Plot wise, from everything I can see thus far, the newest Green Lantern film starring Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Mark Strong, and Peter Sarsgaard looks very promising.  It explores the Green Lantern Universe, has a good first movie villain in Hector Hammond and appears to be displaying foreshadowing of future villains with the very embodiment of fear, Parallax, and the fallen Lantern, Sinestro.  Strictly speaking about plot, it's very promising.

Cast?  I think they got it all right, Mark Strong, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard all look like pretty promising selections, and as for Mark Reynolds.  I have my skepticism, being a long time Green Lantern reader, but I'm naively optimistic, and think he'll be fine.

The most gripes I've heard is regarding about how the film looks, especially the costume.  I actually think the costume looks just fine, and makes the Green Lantern look very alien and futuristic, and like a true uniform.  I think the planet Oa(Where Lanterns are based) looks absolutely stunning, and all and all, I'm very optimistic about this movie, and I entice everyone to give it a chance.

Sorry 'bout that tangent boys and girls, but let's talk about something far more bloody.  And by that, I mean Mortal Kombat. 

Come Over Here!

Little known fact about this author is that I'm actually a big fan of this Midway series, having played every game extensively....At least every main game(Shaolin Monks doesn't count, etc.), having played 4 the fewest.  Anyway, I played Mortal Kombat 9, which essentially served as a reboot to the series, taking it back to it's roots by making it extra bloody and grotesque than usual.  This series really took it back to it's roots, there was special preordering downloadable content that gave classic characters, Sub Zero, Scorpion, as well as Ermac, Noob Saibot, Reptile, and Smoke their original ninja costumes.  There's even Downloadable content to give Cyrax and Sektor their original costumes as well.  Storyline wise, the series takes place between the first 3 games, starting with the first Mortal Kombat tournament introducing Shang Tsung, leading into the second establishing the evil emperor of outworld, Shao Khan.  It showcases the Cyborg Ninjas, Cyrax and Sektor as humans, and even introduces Sub Zero as a Cyborg!  So clearly, they did a lot right, but what about gameplay you ask?  Addicting.  The combos are all there, the fatalities, babalities, stage fatalities, all there.  There's even a new feature called X-Ray attacks where you can see just how bone crunching your blows truly are.  This is probably the most violent Mortal Kombat game ever.  I strongly endorse this title, boys and girls.

Anyway, that's enough of this guy.

Au Revoir!